Blue ski hat and Dora sunglasses. Funny Girl was being a "mommy," or so she said.
That kid does not surpise me. If it's off the wall she will do it, wear it, say it.
Sigh.
And now she has a new way of frustrating mommy. When she does not want to eat her food she no longer lets it sit idle in her plate. Oh, no. She puts it in her mouth -- stuffs it, actually. And there it stays. It does not make an escape down the throat. It sits there filling her tiny cheeks. And she sits there too. She refuses to make an effort to swallow.
Sigh.
We have tried making her sit it out and not leave the table until she does it. That results in up to an hour of stubborness. She sits and says nothing. "Did you swallow it yet?" we ask her. She nods -- lying as only a toddler can...and when we ask her to open her mouth to prove she's telling the truth, the nod turns to a shake of the head. She has sat so long that the saliva builds up in her mouth and she gags. The other night she vomitted the carrots in her mouth and the ones that actually made it to her stomach before the refusal began. Lovely.
So, you say, just have her spit it out. Well, that's what started it. When she or the other girls could not swallow something like dry chicken or something that had a bad texture, we would hold a napkin and out it would come in our hands. That is why, we believe she holds the food she just doesn't want to eat -- in her mouth. Maybe mom and dad will give in and let me spit it in a napkin. In fact when this all started she said with food in mouth, her voice muffled, "Moooom. I need a napkin."
Being the hard nosed mom that I am, I have decided NO.
NO MORE SPITTING OUT FOOD.And so the battle ensues every evening around 5:30 p.m. We have taken away dessert. We have taken away playtime. She is just stubborn and wants it her way. (I repeatedly tell her this is not Burger King but she doesn't understand that one.) I am not a "give-in because it's easier and I-can't-take-it-anymore-mom." Moms like me get a lot of looks of disappointment because we are "torturing" our kids. I take away desserts, toys and I make them sit in time-out and I spank when it's appropriate. I am mean mom in the world of "Don't stress your child."
While it takes repetitive action -- consistent action -- it usually works out in the end. Last night Funny Girl looked at me with a face I haven't seen before when I told her to eat all of her food and not to hold it in her mouth. I told her if she doesn't want it then don't put it in her mouth -- and she just won't get anything else to eat. Harsh? She thought it over -- and the two year-old-going-on three understood. She ate. She got dessert and she happily reported to daddy when he got home that she was a "good girl" and listened to mommy. Now, I am not naive enough to think she won't come back to her old behavior. She'll do it again out of spite some night probably.
When she and the other girls are older (Princess has already been told) I will explain to her it is done out of love. Because I love her I want her to learn that there are some things you have to do even if you don't want to. There are times in life when things will not be the way you want them and you can't control it even if you try. When you learn this very early it is easier when you're older. Otherwise you are deeply hurt and disapointed as an adult and you go through life with all kinds of emotions that you can't control. All you have to do is listen to mommy and daddy. And your teachers. And then your boss....whether you want to or not. All of them will make you mad, some will be unfair...but you are learning a lesson this way. However, I will also tell them not to put their faith in any human. Expect people to disappoint you...but love them anyway.
I choose to teach my kids to put their faith in God. You won't agree with Him sometimes when He tells you this way is the right way. But trust Him. He knows what is best. I have fought many a battle with God on many things I thought I knew better on...the result was tears and pain and consequences for my own decisions. If I had only listened....
Now, at 32 years of age, I want to be obedient. God knows best and boy do I know it. I keep getting messages through notes on Facebook, in devotional readings, on Christian TV and radio this week ...to stand up for what is right even if it means standing alone. I have been lonely in a crowd full of people before -- simply because I chose what God wanted and not what people wanted. Even though my emotions told me I was lonely, the gentle voice inside reminded me I am not alone at all. It is so much better to know and listen to the most powerful force of all -- the One who loves me more than any human being -- even my precious husband and my compassionate parents. And I get to be with Him - and them - forever in heaven one day because of that love.
How does holding our food in our mouth out of stubborness relate to THIS? This blogger is a real religious nut, you say. Hang on there buddy and I will tell you now.
We hold onto our lives like chewed up food. We are afraid to swallow because of pride. We don't want ANYONE telling us how to love or how to live. It's MY life. So there. I will hold my "food" because I CAN. Well, then what? Eventually it -- your life --fills up with issues and you can barely contain it anymore. You hold it and hold it and then your gut gives up and what you have is a vomitted mess...all over you...you're covered in your messy life and you wreak of discomfort. What's worse is when people try to hide the mess and declare they are just fine. Look, people, spraying perfume on vomit never worked.
So you either swallow and be releived of all of that...OR after you reached the point of Puke City you accept that fact that you need to let someone other than yourself clean you up --- and you LISTEN next time. You get it. You accept it. And you will -- like FunnyGirl will -try to hold back again -- even after you accept God's gift-- but this time the urge to swallow will be stronger and it will"eat you up" until you get it right.
Sigh. I'm done now. Take that for what it's worth. Trust me...I understand FunnyGirl better than she thinks. I held onto yuckier (is that a word?) "food" than she has at this point...and I will be there when she holds back more than carrots. I will love her despite it and listen......and pray she, too, will listen.
That kid does not surpise me. If it's off the wall she will do it, wear it, say it.
Sigh.
And now she has a new way of frustrating mommy. When she does not want to eat her food she no longer lets it sit idle in her plate. Oh, no. She puts it in her mouth -- stuffs it, actually. And there it stays. It does not make an escape down the throat. It sits there filling her tiny cheeks. And she sits there too. She refuses to make an effort to swallow.
Sigh.
We have tried making her sit it out and not leave the table until she does it. That results in up to an hour of stubborness. She sits and says nothing. "Did you swallow it yet?" we ask her. She nods -- lying as only a toddler can...and when we ask her to open her mouth to prove she's telling the truth, the nod turns to a shake of the head. She has sat so long that the saliva builds up in her mouth and she gags. The other night she vomitted the carrots in her mouth and the ones that actually made it to her stomach before the refusal began. Lovely.
So, you say, just have her spit it out. Well, that's what started it. When she or the other girls could not swallow something like dry chicken or something that had a bad texture, we would hold a napkin and out it would come in our hands. That is why, we believe she holds the food she just doesn't want to eat -- in her mouth. Maybe mom and dad will give in and let me spit it in a napkin. In fact when this all started she said with food in mouth, her voice muffled, "Moooom. I need a napkin."
Being the hard nosed mom that I am, I have decided NO.
NO MORE SPITTING OUT FOOD.And so the battle ensues every evening around 5:30 p.m. We have taken away dessert. We have taken away playtime. She is just stubborn and wants it her way. (I repeatedly tell her this is not Burger King but she doesn't understand that one.) I am not a "give-in because it's easier and I-can't-take-it-anymore-mom." Moms like me get a lot of looks of disappointment because we are "torturing" our kids. I take away desserts, toys and I make them sit in time-out and I spank when it's appropriate. I am mean mom in the world of "Don't stress your child."
While it takes repetitive action -- consistent action -- it usually works out in the end. Last night Funny Girl looked at me with a face I haven't seen before when I told her to eat all of her food and not to hold it in her mouth. I told her if she doesn't want it then don't put it in her mouth -- and she just won't get anything else to eat. Harsh? She thought it over -- and the two year-old-going-on three understood. She ate. She got dessert and she happily reported to daddy when he got home that she was a "good girl" and listened to mommy. Now, I am not naive enough to think she won't come back to her old behavior. She'll do it again out of spite some night probably.
When she and the other girls are older (Princess has already been told) I will explain to her it is done out of love. Because I love her I want her to learn that there are some things you have to do even if you don't want to. There are times in life when things will not be the way you want them and you can't control it even if you try. When you learn this very early it is easier when you're older. Otherwise you are deeply hurt and disapointed as an adult and you go through life with all kinds of emotions that you can't control. All you have to do is listen to mommy and daddy. And your teachers. And then your boss....whether you want to or not. All of them will make you mad, some will be unfair...but you are learning a lesson this way. However, I will also tell them not to put their faith in any human. Expect people to disappoint you...but love them anyway.
I choose to teach my kids to put their faith in God. You won't agree with Him sometimes when He tells you this way is the right way. But trust Him. He knows what is best. I have fought many a battle with God on many things I thought I knew better on...the result was tears and pain and consequences for my own decisions. If I had only listened....
Now, at 32 years of age, I want to be obedient. God knows best and boy do I know it. I keep getting messages through notes on Facebook, in devotional readings, on Christian TV and radio this week ...to stand up for what is right even if it means standing alone. I have been lonely in a crowd full of people before -- simply because I chose what God wanted and not what people wanted. Even though my emotions told me I was lonely, the gentle voice inside reminded me I am not alone at all. It is so much better to know and listen to the most powerful force of all -- the One who loves me more than any human being -- even my precious husband and my compassionate parents. And I get to be with Him - and them - forever in heaven one day because of that love.
How does holding our food in our mouth out of stubborness relate to THIS? This blogger is a real religious nut, you say. Hang on there buddy and I will tell you now.
We hold onto our lives like chewed up food. We are afraid to swallow because of pride. We don't want ANYONE telling us how to love or how to live. It's MY life. So there. I will hold my "food" because I CAN. Well, then what? Eventually it -- your life --fills up with issues and you can barely contain it anymore. You hold it and hold it and then your gut gives up and what you have is a vomitted mess...all over you...you're covered in your messy life and you wreak of discomfort. What's worse is when people try to hide the mess and declare they are just fine. Look, people, spraying perfume on vomit never worked.
So you either swallow and be releived of all of that...OR after you reached the point of Puke City you accept that fact that you need to let someone other than yourself clean you up --- and you LISTEN next time. You get it. You accept it. And you will -- like FunnyGirl will -try to hold back again -- even after you accept God's gift-- but this time the urge to swallow will be stronger and it will"eat you up" until you get it right.
Sigh. I'm done now. Take that for what it's worth. Trust me...I understand FunnyGirl better than she thinks. I held onto yuckier (is that a word?) "food" than she has at this point...and I will be there when she holds back more than carrots. I will love her despite it and listen......and pray she, too, will listen.
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