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Temper, temper...Would you just listen?

I am convinced that two year-olds are the most selfish, mean-spirited people on the face of the earth. The triplets will turn three in less than two months. But three, as I recall with Princess, isn't a whole lot better. Age four -- that's when they act like tiny adults.
Sometimes I think we retreat to terrible twos and selfish threes even when we're much, much older.
I have gone through temperment phases.
Haven't we all?
I have found that as the mom of three soon-to-be three year-olds that my temper had shortened quite a bit. I was getting a lot of headaches and then one day it occurred to me why. I was spending so much time raising my voice, which no doubt raised my blood pressure and heart rate. No wonder my head pounded!
Raising one two or three year-old is a challenege. We got through it with Princess...who faired quite well considering her circumstances (she became a sister of triplets halfway through age 2...).
Unless you are a triplet mom or worked in the daycare industry -- you can only imagine the terrors of THREE selfish little people.
We have several baby dolls in our home. Princess -- the first grandchild -- was spoiled with every type of baby doll under the sun. But everyday these girls fight over one baby doll. They label them by color of baby's clothing.
For two days straight I heard "I want the blue baby!"
"I had the blue baby first!"
"Moooomm...she took my blue baby!!!(tears and screams follow)"

Days passed and a new trend emerged.
"Mommy, she took my purple baby."
"No! It's MY purple baby!"
"Waaaaaahhhh!"

Why do these girls do this? Because they want what someone else has.

And then comes the next frustrating part of this scenario. Listening.
I tell them to share. Take turns. Yada Yada Yada.
But they don't hear it -- or they don't want to hear it.
A common thing around here is closing doors on one another. We have child proof door knob handles on the exterior part of doors. So the girls run in a room where the door is open, close the door and the next child cannot get in. Hence screaming. And then I respond the same way:
"HOW many times have I told you - 'do not shut your sister out of the room!'? Keep the door open!!!"

That's interesting when you look back at that scenario and read it. Ever wanted something someone else had? You whine and complain but you don't take instruction very well?  And then you get mad and close the door on everyone. Wow.
I've done that.
BUt big people somehow struggle about when there is a time to be angry and when there is a time to be still.
We all get to a boiling point. The children drive me absolutely crazy and by 5:30 p.m. each day I feel a growl rise up in my gut and fly out of my mouth. WHY DON'T THEY LISTEN TO ME???
How many times, I wonder, does God want to shout from heaven at us -- after He tries to tell us to do the right thing over and over, and over and over and over again --
I think there should be a way for moms to get paid for how many times they use the same line evryday. My most often used pharses:
"Stop it!"
"WHAT did I tell you?"
"What are YOU doing?"
"Do you want a spanking?"
"No hitting!"
"NO."
"I said NO."
"Do I need to call Daddy?"
"That's it! I've had it!"
"Sit DOWN!"
"Stop whining at me!"
"Can you wait ONE minute?"
"Where is your father?"
"What is your sister into?"
"Get out of there!"
"You're in for it now!"
*****Daddy come home...
"(Husband's name). I'm going for a walk."

Sigh.
That is where my anger exists. Otherwise I let it pass.
There was a time the President made me mad. Now I just roll my eyes and know it's pointless  to whine about him. God will take care of it. I used to get angry when people insisted on saying there is no God. That still makes me angry, but I know God will take care of that too. My anger used to stem from people letting me down repeatedly. I now know it is NOT about me. God will take care of it. I used to get angry when people were selfish with their time. But I know better that God's timing is perfect. I once had uncontrollable anger about Christians doing stupid stuff when they knew better -- but God will deal with them, it's not my job to get all worked up.
So now, as I struggle with two year -olds being terrible and a Princess in kindergarten (whom I spend way too much time worrying about), I ask myself every morning, "Why can't I let God take care of my kids?" In other words, "Why can't I let HIM mold the situation before I let it consume me to exhaustion, sickness and emotional meltdown?"
I can. But I must be willing.
Because I know He can do all of the things above, and I know He can lead me to silence when it is necessary -- He just showed me recently how that one works. He can calm me. I just have to LISTEN. How hard it is to listen when you want it your way...Just like my kids, I sometimes want to do it MY way. I don't want to be selfish.
Change my heart, O God. Make it ever new. Change my heart O God, make it more like YOU.

While I will still no doubt get angry, I will pause first. Doe sthat mean I will stop yelling at my kids? I will raise my voice, I know it. Sometimes we need a shout here and there. Let's be cautious. Let's not over react. Trust me on this one. It only gets worse from there.
Speaking of yelling, I hear two selfish little people making some big noises...
"What are you doing?" I yell...
"Nothing..." says Funny Girl.
(sighhhh). Let the games begin.
Here comes momma!

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