Mom's NOT crazy

  There’s this darkness trying to overshadow God’s divine plan for me as a parent. In the last five days the enemy has put up road blocks meant to destroy my faith. He allowed a conservative group’s policy to tell me my pregnancies were not necessary but “still valuable.” My heart sunk into my feet as my testimony was challenged. Yet, I got up, dusted off my lap and moved forward with the truth and chose to  let the light shine on it.  In the same week I was told by someone I value that  I was  just not competent  … not able… to do something significant. I got defensive, but inside I believed it was true to the core. I had to wrestle the devil head on with that one. The grip on me was penetrating.  Tonight my heart just aches as a parent because I feel like such a failure… staying true to our foundations is so painfully awkward and almost embarrassing. The enemy got in my head again… whispering how dare I teach women how to parent each week when I have...

 My story on infertility, pregnancy with triplets, and work at a local pregnancy center are featured on Choose Life Radio this week.  Go to www.chooseliferadio.com and look me up in the podcasts.  I had the privilege of interviewing the host, Jill Taylor, last fall for Pregnancy Help News. After the interview she learned I had triplets and asked me to be a guest on the show. It was very humbling. However, I will tell you that the bio of me on the website makes me uncomfortable. It says I am a freelancer who gets what she wants. That’s not true.  I get what God wants for me. Even so, it’s a blessing that people across the country hear our little story. I hope you are blessed. My goal is for my stories to bring encouragement and hope.  I’m not sure how long I will keep blogging, but I pray some mom feels like she is NOT crazy after reading my  input in each post. 

 Mommas, I am not going to lie. Days, weeks, months have been rough for my crew recently.  Car trouble. Accidents. Expenses. Sickness. Anxiety. Unmet expectations.  We are all seated together in this dry space begging for showers of blessing and then sweet sunshine.  Today I had a moment where I received an answer to prayer that I had forgotten I had prayed.It wasn't a prayer for a child or anyone else in my family. It was unrelated to all of our issues that have been dragging us down into that underground space. It was a very simple prayer for a client. It wasn't even a prayer that they come to Jesus (although I am STILL praying for that!). It was very simple. I will not share the specifics of that prayer, but God answered in a way that gave me great joy in seeing it unfold. We often get consumed in life with all of the negative things we are facing. If we believe in God, we pray very hard about these matters. If we trust Jesus, we pray repetetively that His will be...

I have a job where I teach parenting classes. I teach relationship classes. And some days I really believe that I suck at both areas. Without going into details, I have had a rotten two to three weeks. I am a sensitive person (which I truly dislike about myself). So when everything dumps on me, I eventually melt down. The more it rains on me, the more times I melt.  My oldest daughter has a list in her locker that says "days since I cried." There was time this school year she had zero.  These last few days, I can relate, Zero. Today a doctor asked me, "So how are you?" and without control at all on my part, those stupid tears came into my eyes. My bottom lip quivered.  "I'm ok," I said. He replied something along the lines that life is hard, I feel like I fail when I melt down in front of my kids. I have had moments the last couple weeks where I get angry and snap out loud about my internal frustrations. I have stomped out of the house in the dark and ...

 The triplets and I enjoy watching shows like Law and Order and Dateline. There’s something about figuring out the who is the bad guy and seeing him put to justice.  In my years as a reporter I was always intrigued by court cases, police reports and affidavits we would have to read and put into print. I just wanted to know why they did what they did. And I then I wanted to see justice.  I’ve been following the Idaho college murders. Now that a suspect has been caught, I’ve continued to read about it. What was his motive if he is in fact guilty? And if he is guilty I pray God will make it clear and that he is served the ultimate penalty. I feel that way as a parent. In all of the 13 years my kids have been in school they have faced relationship challenges. Mean kids. Bullies. Brats. Call them what you want. I once heard someone say it is not a bully problem it is a sin  problem. My internal response was, no kidding. Bullying someone is sin.  Over the years the ch...

 I am not ready for Christmas. I am sure my family is so tired of hearing me say it. I say it even though I am 90 percent finished with shopping. My tree is decorated. Most of my Christmas cards are out.  But I keep focusing on the fact that it’s 10 days until Christmas and I feel so rushed. And so am fixated on what has not been accomplished . We have not baked one cookie. I have wrapped nothing. ( I so loathe wrapping). I know these things will get done in time. They always do.  I’ve come to realize I am most frustrated because of missing the experience of the Christmas season. It’s just not as fun as it was 10, 15 years ago. My kids are teens and their Christmas list is very specific — complete with links to stores. I ask myself, why even wrap the stuff? They know exactly what they are getting. They get less stuff ( less wrapping!!! Yay!), but more expensive (boo.).  I haven’t watched one Christmas movie in its entirety. I haven’t driven the kids to gaze at lights...